funny how the people that used to mean the most to you, all of a sudden become no one. what hurts the most, is you don’t give two fucks enough to do anything about it. don’t be surprised that no one will be around to catch you when shit hits the fan and all we have to say is “I told you so.”
all i’d like to say now, is fuck you & i guess family means shit. :)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall directyour paths.
trusting, believing and holding on to this with all i have. <3
..on so many levels, i want to scream and cry and scream. fck. i just want to yell at you for being so so .. i don’t even know!
the past year and some change, i’ve nonstop criticized couples that bleed PDA, send cute lil msgs to each other and post about how in love they are. now, let’s be real, if you know me at all, you’d know i used to be EXACTLY like that lol. why the sudden change? beats me. i guess i’m just a bitter lil girl. i think it irritates me so much because deep down, i want to be like that again. gross. maybe i’m past that whole phase in my life or maybe i’m just broken. ugh.
I’ve become so guarded through the years and I’ve always apologized for it or made excuses for people not trying hard enough for as long as I can remember. “Sorry I’m so emotional. Sorry I don’t open up and express my feelings. Sorry I over-analyze everything. I’m just a hard person to be with. I’m too much to handle. I push people away, it’s not their fault.” But you know what? Take it or leave it, this is me. I am the way I am because of the bullshit and heartache I’ve been through and I don’t care if I seem “difficult”. No matter how deeply in love I will ever be, trust me that I’ll be protecting myself till the end because ultimately, I’m the only one who can protect my heart. So, please, don’t use my fears, insecurities and caution against me. Don’t be surprised if I get scared, shut you out and keep quiet. That just means try harder and show me you care enough to break down my walls.